FCD Well Trained Shipping Monkey Patch

Your Price: $6.00
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Part Number:FCD Shipping Monkey Patch
We're big on processing and shipping orders promptly.  As internet shoppers and consumers ourselves, nothing irritates us more than placing and paying for an order, just to wait days before it's processed and shipped.  We don't make a big deal about shipping orders placed in our store on the same or next day, since we believe that's how it should be.

The well trained shipping monkey is a bit of self deprecating humor on the many hats we wear (the monkey wears a red cap that kind of makes him look like Santa Claus,  and it looks amazingly like a MAGA hat, we suspect our conservative values might have rubbed off on him).  We don't believe in fancy titles on business cards and in email signatures, we're firearms enthusiasts, shooters, and collectors, like the folks we serve.  To a lesser degree, the well trained shipping monkey is also a way of poking fun at folks that take themselves entirely too seriously.

The well trained shipping monkey appears to have a following of his own, so we decided to design a patch for those rooting for the cheerful and indefatigable simian, in the typical simple and elegant way for which our designs are known.

The FCD Well Trained Shipping Monkey patch is a 2.5" round, Velcro backed patch with brown border and text, the background is light tan. We hope if you do put one on your shoulder pocket, you can explain it in fewer words than we could :)

It's been reported by the beloved Duck Pond group historian Randy Grossman:

"The shipping "monkey" is actually from a planet called Kepler 22b in the Cygnus constellation. Hence the logo. Turns out the Kepler 22bians are really smart and look like monkeys. Basically planet of the apes but mixed with Star Trek.

The shipping monkey (as he's known now) escaped from the dying home planet and landed on earth. Roger and Kunji found him on Pacific Coast Highway selling fruits from a street cart, and took him in, without realizing the advanced civilization whence he came. He was able to construct a time machine using supplies he could get his hands on in the FCD office, and it is the key to FCD's super fast shipping. He lounges around all week and is drunk on banana liquor most of the time. Despite the resemblance to simians on earth, 22bians are completely unrelated to monkeys, but they seem to share the same fondness for bananas, and all food and drinks bananas related. Once a week, he travels back in time, fills all the orders, and makes it look like it was bare minutes between the order confirmation and shipping.

So the shipping monkey isn't without his flaws, however adorable, but nobody is perfect.  We're happy to have him, and would love him more if he's willing to share his delicious banana liquor concoction with us now and then.

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