By now, many FCD customers are familiar with our well trained shipping monkey. The shipping monkey may be popular, but few know of his story and origin, it is perhaps one of FCD's best kept secrets.
But not anymore, we've decided to share our fast shipping secret with everyone.
It's been reported by the beloved Duck Pond group historian Randy Grossman:
The shipping "monkey" is
actually from a planet called Kepler 22b in the Cygnus constellation.
Hence the logo. Turns out the Kepler 22bians are really smart and look like
monkeys. Basically planet of the apes but mixed with Star Trek.
The
shipping monkey (as he's known now) escaped from the dying home planet
and landed on earth. Roger and Kunji found him on Pacific Coast Highway
selling fruits from a street cart, and took him in, without realizing
the advanced civilization whence he came. He was able to construct a
time machine using supplies he could get his hands on in the FCD office,
and it is the key to FCD's super fast shipping. He lounges around all
week and is drunk on banana liquor most of the time. Despite the
resemblance to simians on earth, 22bians are completely unrelated to
monkeys, but they seem to share the same fondness for bananas, and all
food and drinks bananas related. Once a week, he travels back in time,
fills all the orders, and makes it look like it was bare minutes between
the order confirmation and shipping.
So the shipping monkey isn't without his minor flaws, however adorable, but nobody is perfect. We're happy to have him, and would love him more if he's willing to share his delicious banana liquor concoction with us now and then.